Monday, April 28, 2008
April 28-May 4
I found it very interesting that many of you have known what you wanted to major in since you were a child. I didn't find this career (that I love!) as an ESL instructor until I was almost 30. Our topic this week is cause and effect. With the end of the semester quickly approaching, the SWEET test, final exams, plans to go back to your country or travel and lots to do, you may be feeling stress. What are the effects of stress on you?
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I'm still thinking about my future plan. It means that I should go back to korea and continue to my work or find another job. However, I want to study English and go to graduate school to learn about business management.If I want to go to graduate school, I will stay more than two years. In these reasons, I just focus on the TOEFL test on june. May be, it depends on the test, I will decide what should I do and what I want to do. That makes me tired and confused, so I have to think about that. I think that It's gonna be really hard for decision.
My stress is just why I am so bad person.When will I change myself? I think about it every day.I want to study more hard, but I am not studying hard now because I am really lazy of study. Now I need more English studying. I have not studied anything 10years ago,so I don't know how to study. I have worrid me because I'm so danger man. I don't know when my evil go out my mind. It is my stress. I afraid my sinful desires. I want to close my classmate but if I hurt them. I am so sad. my other stress is that who am I? I don't know who I am. Can you tell me about who I am?
This is the time i feel really tired. I feel that this session is approaching fast. Many tests, specially final exams make me depressed. That means i have to stay up late to study. I think final exams are important. therefore, i have to try a lot. i didn't do mid term well before. That is the reason why i am really worried about final exams. The most important thing, how can i pass the toefl test. Seem it is hard. Specially, i think a lot about transfer to a college. A lot of thing i have to think, and a lot of think i have to do now. i feel that no time for everything i do. That makes me stressed.
Right now, my biggest stress is getting a house. I want to move to San Francisco after this session. So I should find a new place. However, it is very difficult to find a house which fits me. Also, my english ability gives me a lot stress. It has passed 4 months since I came here. However, I don't think that my english has improved. I came here to study english, and I don't have much time in the U.S. So I need to find a new way to study english effectively.
Because the final exams are coming,these days, how to pass final is my biggist stress. I think the main reason is I'm not work so hard. I always complain that I have so many homework, so I have no time to go over lessons. I usually do homework very slowly. To me, time is so valuable. How to make things better is what I think about now.
I think my parents and my relationship those effects of stress on me. They always observe and guess can I attend school. I hope I could attend school in the U.S.A.; however, if I could not attend school, I do not think I was fail. It is my part of learning process. Every relationship and my parents think if I could not attend school. It means I fail. I have heavy stress. In addition, if I go back my home country to find a job, many managers will ask me why you come back, and why you do not attend school in the U.S.A. It is my other stress. Therefore, I need more mental prepare many people’s question when I come back Taiwan.
I'm still wondering my way. I want to restart in here, but I remain just one semester in my university. I'll graduate and apply to the postgraduate course or just re-start to study in the U.S. university. I can't decide these problem. Maybe it just get away from be adult. Never grow up like Peter Pan. I'm afraid of to be adult or into the new world. But it will solve in near future. And I won't regret what I choose.
My stress is about time. There is so many things that I want to do and I want to well. I want reading book, study well, study about more things, drawing cartoon, take a picture, work at the church, exercise, etc. Always I feel that I don't have enough time. It is very sressful for me.
My stress have two part. The first, my toefl test. I never did TOEFL test before, now, i wanna to try it and do more practices. I hope I can pass examination as soon as possible, I have no plenty of time. Second, about my job. I think i am so old. I have to have a nice job and put into the work beacuse i am no time for wait. I will back taiwan when i finish this season, I never know i will be come back USA or not, but i will choose the best for me and I hope i can do the best and fast.
The biggest stressful things with me now is the fear of getting high-score of Toefl. I applied to graduate school last year and I will take the test in August. Eventhough I studied in this speacial program of SAL 2 months and my Eng is improved a lot, I am still not confident for the test. I must to study harder in next session. I left my country one and hafl year but I still study Eng. My parents and relatives hope I will be better here than in my country. I mysefl plan to get a higher level in the new country and I must do. I want to get it as soon as posible, so all of them make me so stress. I think we are strees because we all concern a lot about our future, we want to be better. Any accomlishment includes many obtacles and stresses. "Never give up" that is a essential quotation for us now
I will study in U.S.college in four year. Therefore my biggest stress is in college what should I do. It is totally different with my hometown.
The biggest problem is how I can improve English faster. I’m 30year old now. This age is not that young, so have a lot of stresses of this problem. It is too hard to figure it out. I talked with a lot of people, but that’s not really helpful. However, I should keep trying to get rid of this problem from me. And then, I believe everything is going to be alright.
In Korea, I dropped my university test because of tension and abandonment. Therefore, I study in USA with a lot of stress, and if I hang out with my friends, I should be worried about my future. However, stress makes me pay attention about my future. Although it isn’t my wish, stress should sometimes make a good effect such as studying hard or concentrating my work than without stress. Also, I want to take a rest such as playing game or sports after I do something to make stress. I think I should do something to remove such as going to concert or taking travel after this session in SAL, although I care about my applying university.
My biggest problem is ability of speaking English that makes me depressed. I have stayed in U.S. for 3 months, but I’ve hardly talked to American except SAL teachers. I rarely had chance of speaking to American because I lived with my boyfriend who is Korean. Of course, I know that learning English is not so easy and it takes a lot of time. However, my short temper wants rapid results. I will take part in some activities like volunteer from next session for my English.
These day, because I have to think about many things, I'm in hard stress. There are only two more weeks for me to think over many things, such as how to get good marks for TOEFL test; continue to study English at SAL to apply for MBA degree or transfer to another school to study college program; move out to live alone or not. All of these things are about money. As the result, I am so worried and think about money whole day long and even in my dreams. I stay up late and can't sleep well these day for worry. In addition. my younger sister is going to come to San Jose to study in June. I'm trying to finish the transfer document for her. Even though I'm very happy to live with my younger sister in the near future, I'm much more worried about money. That's the reason why I can't concentrate in my study. Sometime I couldn't hear what my teachers were saying. All and all, I'm not sure whether my mind is full or empty, so that I can't decide anything.
If there are lots of things to do even though I can't do that because of my lack of capacity or I don't have much time, I cannot do anything. If is caused by full of stress. Maybe it can be one of excuse, but I think it is my habit to avoid being stress. As I mentioned before blog, I don't want to be stressed. That's kind of my nature. stress effects on me willing to do anything. Therefore, I seperate something what I have to do to prevent feel stress and give it up.
It's almost the end of this session. I'm really tired of school's homework and test. In fact, I do want to begin taking class in university, not just stay here. I'm not only just my body feel tired but also my spirit feel sick. Maybe I need a long break or just somebody can help me out.
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